Artemis and I were recently in Paris, France, where picking up your dog’s poop is still a fairly new idea being introduced and institutionalized by the government. You see, up until 2002, the city of Paris had Motocrottes, which were small motorcycle-like vehicles with suction hoses that cleaned the streets of Paris from dog poop. These days, like in New York City, it is up to the dog owner to pick up the poop—lest they be fined €500.
Poop is an inevitability of being a dog parent—and picking up the poop, no matter its consistency or size, is one of the biggest responsibilities we have as good dog parents sharing a community with one another. Have you ever accidentally taken your dog on a walk without poop bags, or run out of poop bags on a walk before your dog was done pooping? It’s happened to me, and it’s happened to other dog parents I see on the Upper East Side where Artemis and I live. More than once, we’ve given a poop bag or two to a stranded dog parent unable to leave the pile of poop on the sidewalk, their eyebrows furrowed and hands clenched, their dog’s tail wagging furiously because hello, I did my business, so why aren’t we walking?
Luckily, we are living in a golden age of poop bags. They are lightweight, eco-friendly/compostable, and yes, chic. Some of them even cover up the smell of your dog’s important business. But most urgently, they help keep our community pleasant and clean for all the good dogs and good people in our community. Here are our favorite #ArtemisApproved poop bags, tried and tested by Artemis herself:
Why we love them: These are the best-smelling poop bags we’ve ever used to clean up Artemis’ business. Have you ever wished your dog’s poop smelled like an English rose garden? It can, if you use these dusty pink poop bags. A portion of the proceeds go towards animal rescue, inspired by their namesake rescue dog, Gemma Rose.
Will they rip? Nope, we haven’t gotten poop on our hands, yet.
Eco-friendly? The bags are plastic and they contain EPI, which is a chemical additive that breaks down plastic faster then it normally would. But it’s still plastic (though the founders tell us that they’re working on a truly compostable bag).
Why we love them: This is the poop bag for aspiring dogfluencers. The beige, minimalist rolls go with any poop bag holder, any leash-and-collar set, and any outfit of yours. Obviously, it goes great with the Wild One Poop Bag Carrier, which is a perennial favorite with many members of the A&A community. Also, is it weird to say that these bags are very luxuriously buttery? We would sleep on a bed of these poop bags.
Will they rip? Hm, yes. At least one bag per roll rips in our hands—and Artemis is a light pooper! It’s also extremely sheer, so you will see the poop, but if you live in New York City or Paris or another city, you probably already see poop everywhere.
Eco-friendly? It’s made of plant-based starch.
Why we love them: These bags come in the boldest, most fun colors, and they smell like fresh laundry.
Will they rip? No, they are so sturdy that sometimes we have trouble ripping them at their perforated seams.
Eco-friendly? No, they’re made of plastic (even the roll core).
Why we love them: They’re unscented, which is great for sensitive noses.
Will they rip? Yes, we’ve been caught outside with poop on our hands.
Eco-friendly? Technically, yes, they can be composted in municipal and industrial facilities, which means you can’t just drop them into any trash can on the corner.
Why we love them: We discovered this German brand in Stockholm, Sweden, over Christmas when we came dangerously close to running out of poop bags in our suitcase. They’ve held very up well across four countries and two continents in the past month. The bags are matte black and look a bit like leather, which is a great aesthetic choice if color isn’t your thing.
Will they rip? Yes, we’ve had poop in our hands several times.
Eco-friendly? Yes, they are home compost-certified. Unfortunately, they’re hard to buy outside of Europe.
Photography by Tayler Smith